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The First Kiss -- How to Get There Smoothly

Sometimes it can be a problem knowing just when and how to go for that first opening kiss. A lot of guys get the timing wrong and ruin the moment. Or they make their move just as she turns her head, and finish up planting a pair of lips on her ear.Not to worry. Here's a strategy that NEVER fails. The key is to subtly let her know that you're thinking about kissing her.

This gives HER the opportunity of thinking about being kissed. And once she starts thinking about being kissed, you're pretty much there.How do you do this? Simple. Let your eyes momentarily look at her lips -- and be sure she sees you doing this.Start by making a simple movement which allows you to touch her and gets your head within striking distance. You might, for example, lightly reach out and run your fingers through her hair. At the same time you could say something about how soft and silky her hair is (in your sexiest voice).Watch her reaction. If she doesn't move away, you're ready for the next step. Gaze romantically (or lustfully if you prefer) into her eyes while you keep talking.
Then look down from her eyes to her mouth and back again a couple of times -- and be sure she knows what you're looking at.Your glances will let her know what's going through your mind, so your move won't be unexpected. And it gives her a chance to take up the offer or not.If she doesn't move away, move your head in and gently kiss her. Make the first one soft. Don't rush at it as though you're trying to give mouth-to-mouth to a drowned person (unless the lustful look is paying off).If she does move away, neither of you has lost face. But don't take it as a rejection. She may simply want you to do a little more work.Readers of The Master Seducer's Handbook will know I'm a fanatical devotee of Milton H Erickson MD, the father of modern hypnotherapy and one of the godfathers of NLP. Milton once said (in his cutely antiquated style), "You don't ask a girl for a kiss, but in her presence you just gaze thoughtfully at the mistletoe. You are just being thoughtful. She gets the idea, and she starts thinking about the kiss." Same thing, actually, when you think about it.

Tips for Better Kissing

Be patient. There is no hurry for a kiss, especially the first kiss. Wait until the mood is right. Everyone prefers the romantic kiss - at a romantic movie, after or during an on-screen kiss, during an intimate conversation...

Have fresh breath. Floss and brush your teeth at least twice daily. During the day you should chew gum, or use breath mints or mouthwash. Don't forget the breath freshener especially if you plan to kiss with your partner after eating. And of course, make sure you don’t have something stuck in your teeth.

Make sure that your lips are well moisturized and not chapped. Apply lip balm frequently and keep your lips soft.

Breathe. When you’re kissing for an extended period, it is easy to forget to breathe. Don't hold your breath. It is awkward when you have to pull away gasping for air. Breathe through your nose, and keep a normal rhythm.

Use your hands. You should always use your hands to make the kiss more romantic. Embrace your partner, cup their face very gently in your hands. Run your hands through their hair. This is very stimulating. Whatever you do, don't just let your hands hang at your sides.

Here's what you should not do:

- Don't approach with a mouth wide open
- Don't stick out your tongue
- Don’t force your tongue down your partner's throat
- Don't bite – or you could easily hurt your partner
- Don't force anything. If someone indicates that they don’t want to be kissed, don’t persist.
- Don't make groaning noises
- Don't make an awkward silence after the kiss - say something romantic

Good kissing requires practice. You'll get better as you do it more. The more practice you have with one person, the more comfortable you will feel kissing him or her, and you'll also develop a style that suits both you and your partner.

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